Movie Review: Bullet Train

Bullet Train

Directed by David Leitch.

Written by Zak Olkewicz.

Based on Maria Beetle by Kōtarō Isaka.

Alright, like everything I’ve ever reviewed on this blog, Bullet Train has been out for a while now. In that time I’ve gone to see it twice, which means a lot more now that I don’t work at a movie theater like I used to (R.I.P. ArcLight. Hate it had to be you).

Side note, have y’all noticed how many movie theaters have shut down since Covid? I live in Pasadena, where for some reason, we had four movie theaters on one street. But half of those are gone now. And I just read somewhere that Regal is going down too. Is AMC killing off the competition? I’m just picturing AMC as Galactus, devouring other theaters and sending Nicole Kidman to go forth as their herald of destruction. She shows up in the lobby of other theaters and the last thing they hear before it all goes dark is “Heartbreak feels good in a place like this.”

Anyway, back to Bullet Train! I saw the trailer who knows how long ago and spent however long that was being super hyped. Then the movie came out and…it was everything I wanted it to be! This movie is amazing. Tell all your friends. And if they tell you otherwise, cease communication. Or respect their opinions; you can go either way.

Bullet Train is about a recently enlightened and therapized (if that’s not a word, yes it is) mercenary who has to go onto a bullet train, retrieve a briefcase, and get off of said train. Sounds simple, right? Well of course it isn’t.

Like our protagonist, Ladybug (played wonderfully by Brad Pitt), pretty much everyone we meet on the train has the skill set, capacity, and temperament for violence. And pretty much everyone is GREAT. The cast of characters in this movie is fantastic, starting with and especially because of Lemon and Tangerine, played by Brian Tyree Henry and Aaron Taylor-Johnson, respectively. Brian can do no wrong in my eyes, so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised at how well he portrayed a silly British hitman with a penchant for reading people, but I was impressed. And Aaron Taylor-Johnson gives what turned out to be my favorite performance of his. His character feels like he could have been straight out of The Gentlemen, and if you know me, you know I love that movie. I’d watch a Lemon & Tangerine spin-off in a heartbeat.

There’s no shortage of colorful characters here, from Joey King’s the Prince (whom I hated, which is a testament to the writing and acting skills), to Hiroyuki Sanada’s the Elder (whom I loved, which is a testament to the same skills). I can already tell this review is gonna be too long, so I won’t dive deep into the rest of the cast, but just know everyone did a great job, there are a couple of great cameos, and Zazie Beetz should have gotten more screen time, but she used what she had fantastically.

This is the kind of movie that intimidates me, from a writing standpoint. Not as a viewer, but as a writer. I think about the idea of writing something with this many story elements, and I just sit there in awe of those who can do it. There are SO MANY moving parts to this story, and they’re all woven in so smoothly that by the end, pretty much all of my questions were answered, even some I didn’t realize I had. “Why is this guy here?” “Why does he hate this other guy?” “WHAT is up with this snake?!” All answered. Shout out to Leitch and Olkewicz for this storytelling. I imagine the most credit should go to Isaka for writing the novel, but I haven’t read it, so I can’t comment on how much was the excellent source material, and how much was adaptive skill. But hey, shout outs all around.

I LOVE the style of this movie! The on-screen display of code names, the fact that everyone has code names in the first place, the aesthetics, the action (of course), it’s all delightful. The way characters are introduced let me know I’d have a fun time from the jump. And with each character we meet, we get a backstory, which goes back to the movie having a bunch of moving parts. However, flashbacks and callbacks are used so effectively that not only do they add to the comedic element, but they make it easier to keep up with the story. There’s one flashback in particular that I HATED, but that’s because it involves people violently vomiting, and seeing people vomit on screen is one of my least favorite things. But even that scene, which I was forced to see repeatedly, works well narratively speaking. But for real, y’all gotta stop making us see people throw up. I hate it, and I’d bring the Hays Code back if it meant y’all would have to stop it.

But let’s talk about violence, which I’m surprisingly cool with. In movies, I mean. Not in real life. I’m not a monster. Anyway, David Leitch is a fight scene genius, and I’m sure that’s due in no small part to him being a stuntman and stunt coordinator for some time in his career. He even used to be Brad Pitt’s stunt double. There’s your fun fact for today. Being a part of that world allowed him to understand fight choreography and stunts in a way that many directors probably can’t, and I think that’s why David Leitch movies (John Wick, Atomic Blonde, Deadpool 2) have some of the best action we’ve seen in a long time.

I could talk/write about this movie all day because I adore it. However, I don’t even know if people READ movie reviews anymore. Everybody’s on YouTube or a podcast speaking their thoughts now, instead of writing them down like it’s the 90s. It’s me, I’m everybody. But sometimes I feel like writing, so here we are. If you made it to the end, I appreciate you more than you know! Go see Bullet Train.

Tl;dr: Everything about Bullet Train was done well. The cast? Fire. The action? Fire. The writing? Fire. It just needed more Zazie.

Rating: 9.5 out of 10

Creative Differences Episode 195 | Bullet Train, Prey, and the Death of Batgirl (2022)

Bullet Train was the most fun I’ve had in a movie theater all year! Listen to me talk about it!

Movie Review: Nobody

Nobody

Directed by Ilya Naishuller.

Written by Derek Kolstad.

When I first heard about this movie (by way of a trailer compilation on Youtube, because that’s how I find out about smaller movies), I thought “A John Wick movie with Saul Goodman? Alright.” Little did I know that the mastermind behind the John Wick franchise actually wrote this movie. Dude definitely has a type.

Nobody is the story of a seemingly mild mannered man who, after a home invasion, dusts off his particular set of skills to get into some action movie style violence (much to the dismay of some Russian gangsters). Maybe I’m being slightly reductive to make my point about John Wick, but nothing I’m saying is inaccurate, and it all applies to both movies. So you see my point, right?

Also, my mind works in a way that makes me constantly focus in on similarities between different movies. It’s amusing and exhausting, and sometimes makes movies feel a little more derivative in my eyes. I guess I say all that to say, if I hadn’t seen (and loved) all the John Wick movies before this one, I’d probably have enjoyed it more. But I did enjoy it!

Anyway, let’s move on to the characters:

Hutch Mansell: Hutch is our mild mannered family man with the particular (and vaguely acquired) set of skills. He seems pretty unassuming, until he’s wildin’. The movie goes pretty hard with making him seem like a doormat for all the people in his life that are worse than him, which of course makes it that much more cathartic when he lets loose.

Bob Odenkirk plays this role perfectly, from the defeated husband and father to the loose cannon with hands that are rated E for Everyone. It’s great to see him as an action hero, because while I never doubted his range, it was good to see it on display.

Yulian: The Russian gangster, who, well I don’t want to get into spoilers. Just know the motivations are John Wick adjacent. Unlike John Wick‘s Viggo, Yulian isn’t particularly interesting. He’s angry, he’s violent, he’s Russian. Not a lot else going on there. Might as well be an 80s action movie villain. Although, he did have a badass Black Russian dude on his team. That was something new.

Harry Mansell: It’s RZA! I’m always happy to see RZA pop up in movies, especially action movies. He doesn’t have a huge role, but every time he’s in a scene he enhances it.

David Mansell: Hutch’s badass, retired FBI agent father. He does what it takes to help his son, and goes above and beyond, despite being old enough to be Bob Odenkirk’s father. Also, he’s Christopher Lloyd, which makes him even better.

Also, Hutch has a wife and two kids, but the dynamic there is pretty much just that his wife and son think he’s a loser, and his daughter maybe doesn’t. Then they all realize he’s ’bout that action.

I already talked about this movie’s story feeling pretty derivative, but one thing I will give it, is that we didn’t have to watch a family/wife/kid/dog get violently killed as a means of sending our hero on the warpath. I’m a little tired of that. Other than that, it’s pretty standard action movie stuff. Something bad happens to our hero, he decides violence IS the answer, and his violence puts him on a collision course with an older European guy who has lots of henchmen and lots of guns. It’s a tale as old as time, and it continues to be entertaining, so we’re gonna keep watching it. Just keep getting great leading men like Bob Odenkirk, and we’re good.

But yes, this is an action movie, so it’s of great importance that the action is done well. And it is! We’re treated to some fantastic fight scenes, like that one on the bus! Man, that was great. I expect nothing less with David Leitch listed as a producer (not that I really know what a producer does). Shout out to Bob Odenkirk, who apparently elected to do all his own fighting for this movie, despite being almost 60 years old and working in an industry where they literally bring people in to do your fighting for you. I admire it.

That’s about all I got for this one. It’s an enjoyable time at the theater/drive in/house, especially if you’re into action movies. If violence isn’t something you enjoy in your movies, maybe skip this one. But for the rest of us, grab some popcorn and watch Bob Odenkirk get his John Wick on.

tl;dr: It’s not the most original movie to come out this year, but it checks the action movie boxes very well with great action and a great lead in Bob Odenkirk

Rating: 7.5 out of 10

Movie Review: Hobbs & Shaw

I figured I’d like this movie, because Dwayne Johnson is a national treasure and he’s my favorite part of the Fast & Furious franchise. Also, Idris Elba is dope and with his being “Black Superman” in this movie, I figured they’d finally embrace their ridiculousness completely and stop taking themselves more seriously than I like. So I went in thinking I’d have a really fun time. And you know what? I did.

Hobbs & Shaw is a story about two badasses who hate each other, but have to work together because of some huge threat. Yeah, it’s nothing new, but hey, it’s a whole lotta fun.

Let’s talk about Hobbs, Shaw, and the others.

Luke Hobbs: Dwayne Johnson as Luke Hobbs continues to be the saving grace of this franchise for me. He’s basically a superhuman and he’s a walking collection of one liners that range from gems to “this shouldn’t work, but it does anyway”. He’s like The Rock’s wrestling persona turned up to 11. I’m sure it helps that Dwayne Johnson might be the most charismatic person to ever live.

Deckard Shaw: The boulder is conflicted about Shaw, because he’s funny and badass (which is everything he needs to be), but he killed Han! So like, I hate him? Like, I’m definitely team Hobbs (did this movie use the team ____ marketing?), but shout out to Jason Statham for bringing it.

Brixton Lore: What kinda name is Brixton Lore? Anyway, I’m not sure if I like this character or if I just REALLY like Idris Elba. Cause aside from the Idris inspired smoothness and charm, Brixton kinda feels like a run of the mill villain. I think it might be because he’s not even the first villain this year to have pretty much his exact motivation.

Hattie Shaw: Hattie is Deckard’s girlpowerlicious sister who is inexplicably played by an actress two decades younger than Jason Statham. This movie had the nerve to have Mama Mirren talkin’ about “I remember when you kids would run around…blah blah blah”. Nah. But yeah putting that aside, and putting aside her distractingly low voice, Vanessa Kirby played this role very well. Hattie, like our two protagonists, is rough around the edges and overly sarcastic, but good at what she does and good natured at heart. Yeah, that applies to the other Shaw in this movie too, even though HE MUDERED HAN!

Agent Locke: My favorite part of the movie.

I don’t go to these movies for the story, but I’ll mention it cause this is a review. This is a typical “odd couple has to put aside their differences for the greater good” story, with a healthy dose of family drama thrown in for good measure. But man, these Fast & Furious movies really lay it on thick with the FAMILY. Normally, that takes me out of it a bit, but that didn’t happen this time around. That might be because everyone in this movie has more emotional range than Vin Diesel. With that being said, after a while it’s like “we get it bro, y’all got family problems. We don’t have time for this. Cyborg Idris Elba is tryna kill A LOT of people!”

Also, this movie feels longer than it needs to be. While the humor is the best part of the movie, some of the jokes go a little long and some just seem to be repeated over and over again. If they took out all of the repetitive dialogue, this movie could probably be less than two hours.

But let’s get it straight, this movie is hilarious. And that’s due in large part to the cameos. Those were amazing.

One of the reasons I wanted to see this movie is because it was directed by David Leitch, and I love John Wick, Deadpool 2, and the action in Atomic Blonde. His style choices were great in this movie. I really love the way it opens showing both characters in a side by side. Also, we get the “dark room, neon lights” look that he seems to be a fan of. I’m wit it.

Overall, this movie is a great time. It’s funny, the action is entertaining, and the cast is both attractive and charismatic. It’s all the best parts of the Fast & Furious franchise.

tl;dr: It gets very repetitive in some aspects, but it’s tons of fun. And Dwayne Johnson is a gift to us all.

Rating: 8 out of 10