Movie Review: Uncharted

Uncharted

Directed by Ruben Fleischer

Written by Rafe Lee Judkins

Apparently, they’ve been trying to make this movie for so long that Mark Wahlberg was originally attached to Tom Holland’s role. Wild. Was this the Detox of video game movies? They started developing this movie when Detox was a relevant cultural reference! Anyway, 14 years later, Tom Holland is in the lead, Wahlberg is still doing surprisingly well for an actor with so many hate crimes, and I still know nothing about the Uncharted games. I like the movie, though!

For those who don’t know, Uncharted is an adaptation of the video game of the same name, which I can best describe as the newer generation’s Tomb Raider, but with the fresh new take of the protagonist being a white dude. I’ve heard good things. I’m realizing that if you don’t know what Tomb Raider is, this doesn’t help you. It’s a treasure hunting game. Hunt for treasure, shoot guns, jump off of things, all that fun stuff. I’m sorry if that sounds reductive, but again, I know nothing about the Uncharted games, other than the fact that the main guy’s name is Drake.

Speaking of Drake, let’s talk about him! Nathan Drake has all the charm of Tom Holland, so naturally, I love him. We meet him as a kid, doin’ hoodrat stuff with his brother, but it feels like he’s in it more for the family time than for the schemin’. That’s a nice way to introduce him because I already feel for him when I see him doin’ hoodrat stuff as an adult. Also, relative to the other characters in the movie, he’s got a heart of freaking gold. Which reminds me, I love his back and forth with Sully. We meet Sully and he’s charming enough to be disarming, but then when you hear about how he used to get down, you feel weird about liking him. Is he still a bad guy? Is he reformed now? I hope he’s not that person anymore, but it would suck to find out he’s just really good at hiding it. That last one applies more to Mark Wahlberg in real life. Uh…moving on.

Rounding out our group of likable scumbags is Chloe, another treasure Hunter and another reason I keep referring to this movie as These Hoes Ain’t Loyal: The Movie. For the record, Sully is the main reason for that title. Chloe is one of those “she’s pretty, but can I trust her?” type of love interests. But in a movie full of scammers, she fits right in.

On the other side, we have the less likable scumbags. The stabby ones: Evil Antonio Banderas and Jo Braddock (played wonderfully by Tati Gabrielle). Evil Antonio Banderas (his character has a name, but he didn’t have much going on, so why learn it?) fell pretty flat for me. He’s Antonio Banderas so he can’t be completely boring, but he felt like a generic villain. “I want money, I want treasure, I’ll kill people, blah blah blah”. I don’t like generic villains. Braddock on the other hand is a badass. She got hands, she seems to enjoy violence, and Tati’s expressive eyes and her choice to sound like an evil Cree Summer really elevated the character for me. She scary.

If you’ve seen a treasure hunting story, this is probably nothing new for you. Our hero has to find something shiny and/or old, but some group with more resources also wants that thing. And the group with the money is shady, so they’ll probably just kill the good guys to get it. Also, there might be some sexual tension thrown in for the protagonist and one of their team members. Uncharted, Tomb Raider, Dora the Explorer. Dora didn’t do the sexual tension thing. I have to clarify that because of that weirdo who wrote that review of it with the word “throbbing” in it. Anyway, this is your usual treasure hunting story, but with characters I enjoy more than in most of those movies. If you’re going in for a super original story, you might be let down, but then again, maybe an adaptation of a game everyone compares to Tomb Raider might not be the best place to look for an original story. If you’re going in for likable characters, fun action, and finding clues, have yourself a great time!

So that’s Uncharted. A true study in how much Tom Holland can make me like a movie. Would I like this movie as much with someone else in the lead? Probably not, but that’s why casting directors get paid the big bucks. I assume. I know very little about the industry. Anyway, if you like the Indiana Jones, Tomb Raider, Dora the Explorer, type movies, or you just really like Tom Holland, go ahead and give it a watch.

Tl;dr: A fun cast of characters makes an enjoyable watch out of a pretty unoriginal story. But were you expecting an original story? Probably not, right?

Rating: 8 out of 10

P.S., I just remembered this movie had product placement by way of having Mark Wahlberg of all people beat up a Black woman in a Papa John’s. Papa John’s. Papa “Y’all niggas want some pizza?” John’s. Wild.

Creative Differences Episode 162: Favorite Actors of 2021

We’re talkin’ about actors! And I’m mostly talkin’ about actors from The Harder They Fall!

Creative Differences Episode 157: Top 5 Tuesday – Spider-Man Movies

Happy third anniversary to Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, the undisputed best Spider-Man movie!

Movie Review: Chaos Walking

Chaos Walking

Directed by Doug Liman.

Written by Patrick Ness and Christopher Ford.

Every week I watch those little trailer compilations on Youtube, and one day I saw this trailer and thought “Tom Holland? Daisy Ridley? A pretty interesting premise? I’d probably watch that.” Then I immediately forgot about the movie until I saw it was playing at the drive-in. So the wife and I went to the drive-in and saw it, and ya know what? It’s pretty great.

For those who don’t know, which might be most of you, because nobody I know has seen this movie (aside from my wife who saw it with me), Chaos Walking tells the story of a dystopian society in which women and are all gone and men have their thoughts involuntarily displayed and broadcast out loud for all to see. Sounds terrible, right? Not the premise, the scenario. Like, that’d be an awful life.

Characters:

Todd Hewitt: Todd is the main reason I like this movie so much, and Tom Holland is the main reason I like Todd so much. Tom Holland is a treasure, what can I say? Todd has a charming quality to him and brings a nice level of humor to this bleak story. Tom’s performance and likability definitely add to the charm. He’s just so good! That being said, I think many capable actors could make us feel for this kid.

Speaking of, Todd isn’t REALLY a kid, and there’s an interesting aspect in the film that revolves around his ideas of being a man. There are some interesting ideas there that I wish the movie would dive into more. I’ll elaborate later. Probably. Keep reading to find out.

Viola Eade: Viola is seemingly the only woman in a dystopian society full of men, some of whom have never seen a woman. As you can imagine, that comes with some problems. Fortunately, Viola is pretty badass. Of course she is, she’s Daisy Ridley. Viola is smart, educated, and sensible, so she provides a nice contrast from Todd, the boy who was raised in a society run by Mads Mikkelsen, where everyone looks like they work at Knott’s Berry Farm.

David Prentiss: Speaking of Mads Mikkelsen, he’s got an inherently villainous face, right? It’s not just me? Like, he’s not a bad looking guy. His face just screams villain. Even if he’s saying something nice or seemingly caring, there’s just a layer of villainy there. Cause of his face. Anyway, everything I just said about Mads applies to David. So that’s that.

Aaron: Speaking of villainous, this dude is terrifying. Every dystopian story has one preacher character in it. Often that preacher character is overzealous to the point of violence and/or lunacy. No different here. That’s not exactly original, but there are some great visuals attached to this character. His “noise” (what they call the broadcast of their thoughts) has some intense visuals attached to it, which adds to the impact of his character in a nice way. And it was interesting to see David Oyelowo be a bad guy.

As always, there are other characters, but they either don’t matter as much to the story or I just don’t have much to say about them.

I really like the premise of the movie. It’s super creative and it’s a nice original twist to the dystopian action genre. They also use it in some creative ways. Everyone’s “noise” appears in their own unique way, and they have unique ways of using it and being affected by it. It adds a lot to the story.

Speaking of adding a lot to the story, there are a few things that this movie dips its toe into, but stops shy of diving deep enough. That’s one of the few complaints I have. Here are a few things I wanted the movie to explore further: the native species on the planet, Todd’s ideas of what it means to “be a man” (he says that phrase to himself more than the soldiers in Mulan), and what was up with that one guy in the other colony who used to lived in Prentisstown?

That last one doesn’t matter as much, but I’m curious. Anyway, this is based on the first book in a trilogy, so hopefully we get two more movies to explore this stuff. Although, like I said, nobody I know has seen this movie, and apparently critics don’t rock with it, so outlook not so good. But the critics are wrong*, this is a good one.

*I don’t actually believe anyone can have “wrong” opinions when it comes to something subjective like movies, I just want y’all to watch this movie so I can get a couple sequels. I’m not about to go read those books.

I’m gonna talk a little bit about the visuals, because as I’ve said, the visualization of the “noise” is great. There’s an eerie quality to it, as it’s something that isn’t visualized in our real life. They did a great job of provided imagery and sound for thoughts that look and sound a little removed from real speech and actions, because they are. Unfortunately I saw it at a drive-in, so there’s only so much that I could see and appreciate. But this is definitely one I’d want to see in a theater.

To close this out, I’m gonna reiterate that you should go see this movie. Although I guess I should be responsible and say if you’re not into dystopian stories, this probably ain’t your lane. But if you like Tom Holland as much as I do (and why wouldn’t you?), you’ll still enjoy it.

tl;dr: Tom Holland is amazing as always, and his performance took a bleak, but unique premise and turned it into a very enjoyable movie.

Rating: 8 out of 10

Creative Differences Episode 24: Fancast Friday – Disney’s Snow White

Happy Fancast Friday, y’all! We’re fancasting the story of Disney’s O.G. princess!

Movie Review: Spider-Man: Far From Home

I’m gonna have to break the pattern of reviewing MCU movies and then not writing a review for two months. But anyway, I’m back.

There’s only one movie this year that I was more excited for than Far From Home. Check the blog name for a hint. So yeah, I was hyped to the point of instability. That hype was elevated when I found out Mysterio, one of my favorite villains from childhood, was gonna get the MCU treatment. Then they tell me they’re bringing in the multiverse? I was salivating. Now fast forward to today, I’ve seen the movie twice, and I’m still feeling the afterglow from it.

*checks notes*

Ah yes, let’s talk about the characters.

Peter Parker/Spider-Man: Peter is as lovable as ever. Even though this movie makes him more impressive with the Spider-Man action (he goes OFF), there are a lot of times when you get the sense that he’s a kid who might not be ready for all this. Because, you know, HE’S IN HIGH SCHOOL. But yeah, Tom Holland is an absolute blessing. He brings all of the charm, charisma, acting ability, and everything else needed to play this role perfectly.

MJ: I don’t know if I’ll ever completely accept not having a version of MJ that’s more aligned with the comics and tv versions (it’s not because Zendaya is Black, I’m not stupid), but with that being said, this MJ is a lot of fun. She’s super weird, sometimes to the point that I feel the writers are trying a little hard, but I dig it. I guess an awkward MJ (along with a smaller Flash and a Ned that’s actually Ganke) adds to the revamped feel of Peter’s peers in general. Also, Zendaya is great.

Ned Leeds: Ned is still the goofy comic relief and guy in the chair, and while I enjoyed him more in Homecoming, still love him.

Nick Fury: Fury gonna fury.

Quentin Beck/Mysterio: Like I said, Mysterio has been one of my favorite Spider-Man characters since I was a kid. People always clown the fish bowl helmet and all that, but I’ve loved it my whole life. I especially liked the way he was able to mess with reality, or at least have the appearance of doing so. So when he got to do that in this movie, my inner child screamed. And nostalgia aside, Mysterio made for some of the most impressive and wild visuals I’ve seen in the MCU so far, as well as a scene in this movie that might be one of my favorite MCU scenes. And Jake Gyllenhaal played the role perfectly. Dude is an amazing actor.

Happy Hogan: I’ve never liked Happy as much as I did in this movie.

Part of the appeal of the Spider-Man story is how he balances being a kid with being Spider-Man. That’s why I loved Homecoming so much. The movie felt like a perfect representation of that. And this movie does a good job as well. One complaint I have, though, is that I feel like certain parts leaned too far away from the Spidey side of the spectrum. Or maybe it’s just that we spent A LOT of time on the “we’re in Europe with our incompetent teachers” establishing. Speaking of the teachers, they’re pretty much only there for humor, and some of the humor didn’t hit like it did in Homecoming. 

But you know what hit way harder than it did in Homecoming? That action! Spidey was goin’ OFF with them webs! And Jon Watts was goin’ OFF with that direction! Some of the shots in this movie’s action scenes were breathtaking. Like, obviously fighting a giant elemental monster is gonna look impressive, but I was even more impressed with the stuff Spidey was doing toward the end against all those drones. And that Spidey sense usage at the end? Hell yeah. That was everything I wanted.

I can’t skip talking about the emotional weight that this movie has. Remember the last thing we saw in the MCU? Remember how Iron Man DIED to save everyone??? Well, you better. Because this movie won’t let you forget. And it won’t let Peter forget either. Shout out to Chris McKenna and Erik Sommers for crafting the story in a way that has significant emotion without feeling like it’s just trying to capitalize on a popular movie. Peter is goin’ through it, y’all. Fortunately, Tom Holland the GOAT is able to convey that perfectly.

So yeah, this movie is a wonderful time, and I’m sure I’ll see it at least one more time before it leaves theaters.

Oh wait! The mid credits scene! Yooooooo! That was craaaaazy! But that’s all I’ll say because I don’t wanna spoil nothin’.

Also, shout out to Aunt May out there havin’ a hot girl summer.

tl;dr: Some of the humor and school centered stuff wasn’t quite as fun as last time around, but the movie as a whole is spectacular.

Rating: 9 out of 10

Movie Review: Spider-Man: Homecoming

I’ve been hyped for this movie since Captain America: Civil War came out. Spider-Man was the main highlight of the movie for me, as he’s my favorite superhero that Marvel Studios is allowed to use (at least until they get Deadpool one day). Every thing I saw/read about this movie got me more excited to see it. While everyone else was complaining that the trailer gave too much away, I was just happy to see how awesome the movie looked. And even though I knew it would be amazing, it was still more spectacular than I anticipated.

This movie has the feeling and tone that a Spider-Man movie should have. Peter Parker is a 15 year old kid, and the movie feels like it’s about a 15 year old kid. Peter’s excitement about everything going on filled me with so much joy. Spidey is supposed to be the young kid among grown heroes and villains, and now we’ve finally gotten that. The coming of age story is something that other Spider-Man movies have lacked for one reason or another. This movie hits pretty much every point that a Spidey movie should in terms of tone and humor.

Speaking of tone and feeling, this is finally an MCU movie that feels grounded and not so over the top. Nobody is trying to take over a universe, commit mass murder, or steal any kind of throne. There’s no beam of light shooting into the sky for the entire third act. There’s no macguffin that we have to follow throughout the entire storyline. It’s just a hero we love trying his best to stop a bad guy, because that’s what he has to do. And the stakes kind of feel higher, because if your villain wants to destroy the Earth we know the villain won’t win. If your villain wants to steal some powerful weapons to support his family, the crowd might think he’s gonna pull it off.

Another thing this movie does better than the other Spider-Man movies is give us a few different villains without it feeling too crowded. Spider-Man 3 is the infamous case of a movie doing too much. Venom, who should have gotten his own movie, is crammed in with Sandman and Goblin. Even in Amazing Spider-Man 2, which I liked, Electro and Goblin both feel like a primary antagonist but they trade off being a secondary antagonist. Also Rhino is there, but barely. This movie does it perfectly, though. We get the Shocker and the Tinkerer, but neither of them oversteps their role in the movie. Vulture is clearly the villain here.

While on the subject of the movie not being too crowded, I gotta mention Tony Stark. A lot of people were worried that this movie would feel too much like Iron Man featuring Spider-Man. Fortunately, Tony Stark has a role that is minimal enough to let Spidey shine, but he’s in it enough for us to get what we want from him. All of Tony’s scenes are great, and they went with quality over quantity thankfully.

It’s character time:

• Peter Parker – Tom Holland is the best Peter Parker and Spider-Man we’ve ever had. I’m not sure we’ll ever have one this good again. We had Tobey Maguire, who was a great Peter Parker (age aside) and we had Andrew Garfield who was a great Spider-Man, but now we got someone who can do both perfectly. As Peter, he’s the awkward high school nerd that he should be, yet still has a charm to him that makes us love him. As Spidey, he’s the quippy motormouth that we need him to be. But we also get a look at how smart Peter is, which a lot of people forget about. We get to see him in science class jotting down formulas for (and creating) his web fluid!
• Vulture – The Vulture is one of my least favorite Spider-Man villains, and I was not happy when I heard that he was gonna be in this movie. But oh man, they executed it perfectly. Vulture is given a more modernized (and honestly awesome) look, and a characterization that makes you feel for him. Michael Keaton’s performance is really what makes this all work, though. He’s more impressive and menacing when he’s not even in the Vulture suit. There’s a very special scene with him in a car threatening someone (no spoilers), and it’s one of the best scenes in any Marvel movie, let alone this one. I never thought I’d be saying Vulture is the best MCU villain, but he is.
• Ned – Initially I was distracted by the fact that he looks exactly like Miles Morales’ best friend Ganke, which I thought was odd, but not a huge issue. That aside though, he’s an absolute delight. He’s funny, helpful, and just a joy to watch on screen. His whole “guy in the chair” thing was perfect. Jacob Batalon was awesome.
• Michelle – I’m gonna brush past all the speculation and perceived confirmation/debunking of Zendaya being this movie’s version of Mary Jane. I’m just gonna talk about the character. She’s a breath of fresh air, as the whole movie is, but she manages to stand out with every line she gives. Prior to this movie I hadn’t actually seen any shows/movies with Zendaya in them, but I’m a fan now.
• Aunt May – It’s so nice to have an Aunt May that doesn’t feel like she could die of natural causes at any moment. That comment is more about comics than movies, but it’s kind of weird that nobody before has adapted May as younger since her nephew is only 15. When I was 15, I didn’t have any aunts that looked like they grew up with Steve Rogers. I still don’t, actually. Anyway, May has a likability here that extends past her being easy on the eyes. She’s able to show her concern for Peter without being overbearing and she seems like a friend instead of just a parental figure, which is nice. Marisa Tomei is also just so easy to like, so that helps.
• Aaron Davis – If we’re being honest, his role in this movie isn’t big enough to warrant being listed here. But Donald Glover is one of my favorite people and I loved every scene he appeared in. He only has a few lines, but they’re all great. Also, when he says “I got a nephew that live here” I legitimately cheered (both times I saw the movie).
• Flash Thompson – I love Tony Revolori, but him being cast as Flash Thompson still bothers me. I get why they did it. They want to go for a more modern type of “bully”, the kind who makes mean comments instead of stuffing kids into lockers. I get it, but as a fan of Spider-Man comics, I need my Flash to be bigger than Peter and at least somewhat physically imposing. Part of that is because (and I know they won’t get this far with these movies) Flash has a pretty great character arc. He’s a war hero and has a powerful story about combat and its aftermath. This all leads up to him becoming an awesome superhero later on down the line. So when I see Tony Revolori playing this preppy kid I just keep thinking “this could never be Agent Venom”.
• Karen – Karen is a voice, not really a character. She’s another A.I., like Jarvis or Friday, but she’s by far my favorite. She’s insanely sweet and I wish I had her in my phone. Also, I never realized that I loved Jennifer Connelly’s voice. So that’s nice.

I should wrap this up. This movie feels like it was made with the fans of the source material in mind. There’s even a scene toward the end that is clearly meant to evoke memories of a pretty famous comic panel. As a huge comic book fan, I always appreciate that. Also, finally seeing a full movie about Spidey in the MCU had me elated. All in all, this is the best Spider-Man movie to date and I don’t know how they’ll top it with the alleged two sequels they have planned. But thank you Marvel Studios for giving us this gift and thank you Sony for finally realizing that collaboration is the key to success. Now just hand Venom and everyone else over and stop playin’ games.

tl;dr: It’s the best Spider-Man movie and if you’re a fan of the character you’ll love it.

Rating: 9.5 out of 10.